Okay here we go again, third time around, it seems it never ends once it start it keeps on going. This time there will be no cure, this time I really hope that it isn't just like any time before. I am so tired of the x rays the waiting the not knowing. I have crocheting a table cloth keeps me counting stitches in stead my mind wondering all over the place. This time is not like the last time, this time it feels different knowing that I do not have Cancer again, I feel good I do not feel sick, I didn't last time either. This time I just had heart burn for years and throwing up, taking Tums like they were candy and yes the stabbing pain in my chest was my gall badder. So I have gall stones no big deal, the big deal is when the doctor told me as pressed on my chest it should hurt and did. Was it the heart burn because it was bad. The very next day alter-sound, they found several spots on my liver, no big deal it not like I am a small women everyone gets them, no big deal. They look so concerned worried more so than me that should worry me right, no I was not okay a little. That was Nov 12, 2011. Now I can't sleep I for got to get my pics for the surgeon dam it Alter-sound and Ct scan done now they want a MRI. I have a MRI this Monday and I am scarred. Why because I got my results that I have read over and over again looking what information I could on the computer. This there will be no radiation treatments, this time they may do chemo this time dam well be fat cells |I can handle that. No Cancer you will not be coming back. Not this time I fought you last and I won you didn't you damn well leave me alone. If could only hear if only had a voice what would say to me. I had so much happen in the last year my neck gave way so, I couldn't work and now this seems all I do is fight fight so I could go back to work and still can't and now waiting for one more test one more operation, one more result. I hope that it is not what they think and I have to think it not but, always there nagging away is it or isn't it.