Since I got home, my mother and younger sister are on the outs with me. I have been on the outs with them as well, since I could not deal with them. I know that they both lost their husbands last year, at this time and are going through the rough times. And they are still grieving and I am finding all the happiness I can in the world. I looking for colours and finding the the flowers and finding the joy in life, while they are still in the mud.
Being on two different spectrum s of life. One wishing all the best that life can give them, and the others wondering who is to blame for all there sadness, pain, and sorrow. dusting themselves off only to find more mud.
My sister said to me, She would rather that have the cancer . I said," that is just stupid who ever wished that they had cancer"? Not anyone I can think of. I believe that since my brother-in -law died. I have lost my sister. Not really but she trying to erase her old self. She has changed her name, lost so much weight the a size 0 doesn't even fit her.Brags that she only eats about 4 Tbs of food for a meal. She doesn't speak to her son and clings to the simple thought that she needs a man. That a man is the only thing that will make her life better. And there is nothing wrong with the way she lives her life right. Right
What they are not getting is . In order to be happy it comes from the inside of each and everyone of us. I can not give you happiness. And you can not give me happiness. Happiness cames of the inside out. It is not things such homes, cars and money. Having to put someone down to make yourself feel better, or having to make yourself to be something you are not. It's about laughing at yourself, loving your imperfections, and learning to have fun rather then to be poking fun at someone else. It's about finding love with in you. Happiness is how we treat ourselves if we love ourselves then we can love unconditionally. Once we have true happiness then we treat each other with respect,dignity,and compassion.
My mother and sister have yet to figure that out and until they do they will not get where I am at. I am happy I would be a lot more happier if we could all get long as family but that has not happened in the last 48 years of my life so, and till they get it it will be a dream. And they refuse to get the help they need to get there. And they refuse all help.
Seems like I waisted a lot of time and energy trying to get them to that point. So, how do I stop caring does anyone have answer how does one just stop caring? Now there is a book.
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